Tag Archives: Mother dying

Only Child on Seniors and Falls

Only Child and Mom before the arthritis took its toll on Mom

Only Child and Mom before the arthritis took its toll on Mom

My late mother had a few scary falls as she neared senior’s age and the short time after when she was still alive. I remember her falling going up the basement stairs. She was watching a TV show and they were offering a prize. You had to phone in right away to win. So Mom charged up the stairs.

Shortly after she had a phone extension put in downstairs.

But the really bad falls came after she got arthritis, particularly the last year of her life. She fell on the three steps at the entrance to her sister’s farmhouse. This was a new house, not some rambling old structure. The killing fall came a few months before her death. I was out with friends and when I came home she told me she had fallen off the vanity bench in her bedroom and banged her head.

Flash forward almost four months. One Saturday morning I got up – not early – and found no coffee on and Mom not even up. She was still in her bed and as we later learned in a coma. I called the family doctor who rushed over. He figured she’d had a stroke and called an ambulance. By that time my fiance had arrived and the two of us rode in the ambulance with Mom. The doctor followed.

Mom had a brain aneurysm so the doctors operated on her brain. She never came out of the coma and died five days later.

The official cause of death was brain aneurysm, but I know her falls from arthritis killed her.

Apparently the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) agrees with my falls assessment. According to them, 2.5 million get treated in hospital emergency because they fell. Hip fractures aren’t just from old arthritic bones but 95 per cent of the time it’s a fall that causes the hip fracture.

Scary stuff. And I’m well on the way in the falling down department – even going back to soon after I moved back to Toronto. It seemed that every winter I fell outside – in slush, on ice. And I was in my early 50s then. Of course I complained to the city, to the Mayor, about the city workers not doing their job cleaning the streets and sidewalks property (one was at a major intersection).

Now, I’m falling in the summer. Tripping over paper hanging wire left by some careless jerk on the sidewalk. Even tripping over the large black walnuts dumped by squirrels in my lawn. For the latter I landed on soft grass and in a bed of black-eyed susans. But both the squirrels and the unknown jerk got cursed.

Inside the house I’ve fallen a few times, missing a step – on carpeted stairs. Then there is the bathtub. When I finally got my main handyman Mike here on Friday, I had him install two hand bars on the tub wall. And I will continue my practice of holding onto railings when going up and down stairs at home and in subway stations. Particularly the latter as my son fell down a few subway stairs and broke his ankle earlier in the summer. He is 37.

The CDC offers several tips to help prevent falls. Besides the bathroom bars, they also include getting your eyes tested annually (which I do), check for carpets you could trip over; check with your pharmacist for any medications you are taking that could make you sleepy or dizzy. And take extra Vitamin D. We don’t get enough in the nearly sunless winter months. I know that for a fact as three years ago I suffered from Vitamin D deficiency. Some days the pain in my bones was so bad I could hardly walk. I knew it wasn’t arthritis as the pain wasn’t in my joints but in my calf bones. Upping the Vitamin D dose a lot fixed that one.

So, you need to be vigilant about falls and possible causes. That won’t cover the weird like picture  hanging wire. Maybe the action here is to make sure you don’t just leave loose or carelessly throw something that someone could trip over.

God won’t necessarily have your back. That 95 per cent statistic proves that.

Read more of the CDC article at

http://www.cdc.gov/homeandrecreationalsafety/falls/adultfalls.html

Cheers.

Sharon A. Crawford

Only Child Writes

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Filed under Balance, Falls prevention, God, Health, Health Seniors, Mother, Old Age, Only child, Seniors, Seniors and falls, Vitamin D Deficiency, winter falls

Only child disatisfied with being alone

Only child "holding up the house" alone.

This being alone, the only person, in your daily life sucks sometimes. I’m fed up with having to do and organize everything myself. Then there’s the financial aspect – think what you want about women making big bucks on their own; some of us scrape by. Time is also a problem.

Just take this week’s list – get/organize house/property repairs (more keep popping up and there is the weather factor for outside repairs. Don’t get me started again on the picnic table scenario), client work and preparation for a course and workshop I’m doing, some writing promo and volunteering – all this within the next two weeks and of course everything and everyone isn’t co-operating. I know, we all have a life, or should. And don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for my house, garden, and the work I do, which I love. But, I am also ungrateful for an overload of problems.

When Dad was still alive, he and Mom had each other. After he died, Mom fell apart and her health went from good to bad to …well, she died too young (63) form a brain aneurysm.

Now statistics support that we women living on our own (and men, too) get a hard deal in life. Richard Niolin, PhD. reviews the book  The Case for Marriage Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better off Financially by Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher. The book  has some startling statistics (well, not to me. I’m living proof of many of those statistics). The authors state that white married women with no kids earn 4% more and black married women earn 10% more than single women (Waite, 1995). And if you think a kick in the pocketbook is the only downside of living single, life spans also don’t fair as well. Mortality rates of single women area 50% higher than those for married women (Ross et al., 1990). And a spouse can help lower your risk to die from cancer and even help keep you alive 10 years longer. Here’s another scary statistic. If you’re a single person in the hospital, prepare for a longer stay than your married peers. Add in surgery and a single person has a higher risk of dying afterwards (Goodwin et al., 1987). It gets worse. Factoring in life expectancies, only eight  of  10 single women reach age 65  (Cohen et al., 1997). My mother is dead proof.

Thank somebody or other I recently updated my will, although I’ve warned my beneficiary he’ll inherit debt.

You can check out Mr. Niolin’s excellent review at http://www.psychpage.com/family/library/brwaitgalligher.html. Although the book factors in only married people, even having a significant other in your life can make a big difference. If nothing else, you can get companionship, support (including financial) for the problems that arise. I’m not saying having a life partner means the life partner will do all the house/property repairs, but the partner can share in organizing getting all this stuff done.

Being alone definitely sucks. Maybe I’ll find some positive aspects of it. Not this week. I’m “hiding” in my book reading (mystery novels), the garden, walking, and watching the new TV season, but apparently not in sleep as I’m waking up a few times a night in fear and getting up in fear. As for my dreams – they certainly depict my situation and feelings about it as only dreams can. Maybe they’ll present some solutions – if I can remember them. Even my work helps. So, please excuse me; I have to get back to work now.

Sharon Crawford

Only Child Writes

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Filed under Aloneness, Anxiety, cancer, Death and Dying, finances, linda j waite, lower your risk, maggie gallagherl, Mother dying, Only child, Problems, Reading escapism, startling statistics