Only Child’s new look fosters new attitude

Only Child and son, Martin. Same photo as on my first blog post

In case you didn’t notice before, Only Child Writes has a new design and logo. It wasn’t planned.

Last Thursday my blog header logo disappeared from my blog. Instead I was staring at white space at the top of every post – but the posts were all there. On my dashboard it was a different story – the specifics for this design were there but even when I tried to restore the header, it just wouldn’t connect to the actual blog.

Was this somehow connected to what’s going on in my life?

First the technicalities: After checking out WordPress’s “Help and Support” under Headers, I found that none of the possibilities listed was the cause. So I filled in the Support form and sent it through cyberspace. I received one of those “flying through cyberspace” emails back – so I know it arrived. Two days later I had heard nothing, so emailed my son for help and he said he would take a look at it.

Here’s where it gets interesting almost to the point of serendipity – I heard back from someone at WordPress. She attached a screenshot of what she could see at her end and it showed the original blue-coloured header. She asked if that was what I saw at my end. So I checked the blog site and found a completely different header and blog design for OnlyChildWrites.

I also found an email from my son, Martin.

Martin had taken a look – he couldn’t see the header on the post either. So, he set me up with a new design, emailing me about this plus instructions to change it if I didn’t like it.

I love it and emailed him back with thanks. Also emailed the WordPress support lady and thanked her but added my son had just changed the design and he figured the flaw was something at their end for the original design.

Going by the email times, it looks like WordPress took the screen shot about an hour before Martin made the changes.

Sometimes a change is for the better, especially when it comes serendipitously. Which got me thinking about life. Over the years, going way back to growing up an only child, I’ve learned to, well learn from my experiences. Past occurrences tell me how to approach new ones. Sometimes I’ve made exceptions, mainly in my writing, gardening and reading, but sometimes with friends and relationships with men. Often when I have done the latter, I’ve had the rug pulled from underneath me. Those of you who have been following this blog, will see a few posts that touch on this topic in some way.

Maybe I need to trust in serendipity more. The key word is “trust.” A former boyfriend once said, “Life is unfair,” and he is right. But life is also supposed to be a combination of good and bad, but when the bad seems to override the good in numbers, well…

It’s a dilemma. Somehow there must be a way to be wary and trusting.

Anyone have any answers here?

Cheers.

Sharon A. Crawford

Only Child Writes

Only child ABC blog award nominee on Memoir

Only Child with Mom and Dad at her godmother's farm in the early 1960s.

One of this Onlychildwrites blog followers, TrishaDM nominated my blog for an ABC (Awesome Blog Content) Award. Thank you again, Trisha (http://trishadm.wordpress.com/2012/02/27/alphabet-soup-the-abc-award/). One of the criteria for those who receive the award from its creator, Alyson, of the Thought Palette blog (http://thethoughtpalette.co.uk/abc-award/) is to nominate other blogs and also to share briefly something about yourself, from A to Z.

So in the spirit of this nomination, I’m going to go right to the middle of the alphabet to M and share what memoir writing means to me. After all, this blog is about thoughts and offshoots, including a memoir, from growing up an only child of elderly parents. And in the two and a quarter years of posting, I’ve covered a lot of “offshoots” including health, relationships, the stress of living as an only (I call it the “only person syndrome”), writing – memoir and fiction, and, of course, the actual memoir.

Writing a memoir is an ongoing process. When I thought I was done, I found I wasn’t. From family flak to finding new information and remembering more to getting a better idea on what to write and how to write it, I may be adding to the memoir as I go to my grave. (Hopefully a memoir book will be published long before then).

This process has made me realize that although a memoir comes from your past, it also engulfs your present and no doubt will go into your future. Some days I feel as if the spirits of my late Mom and Dad are here. A psychic friend actually felt my mother’s spirit here. When I revisited the old house where I grew up, I did not feel the presence of either parents. However, on a return visit to take some outside photos (with the present owners’ permission) I did sense Mom’s presence, especially when I visited the nearby park where as a child I use to swing sky-high on the swings.

It’s no wonder that some days I feel as if I am several people – the little girl walking through my past, the young woman who had to learn to get out of her shy hurt shell, to now where I’m still changing. Some days I feel younger; some days I feel older. Looking to the future is scary, but it is all part of my story, my life. Or as William Berry once said, The past is our definition.  We may strive, with good reason, to escape it, or to escape what is bad in it, but we will escape it only by adding something better to it. 

Those are wise words for all of us, especially those of us who don’t want to forget the past but need to incorporate the present and move on into the future. Live life from the heart.

What says you?

Cheers.

Sharon Crawford

Only Child Writes

Only Child with her son, Martin, part of today's family. Martin is also "M," but son also comes under "S."