Category Archives: New year’s resolutions

New Year New Outlook

Teddy reminding me to slow down

I am one of many who is glad that 2018 is past, deceased, down the drain. It was a very bad year for everybody and for our planet. On my Facebook page, my New Year’s message for all is:

Happy New Year to all my family and friends. May 2019 be your best year yet and the best year yet for our world, especially earth. May we all learn how to slow down before we burn out.

That is what I base my intentions, goals, etc. on. I don’t do resolutions. Instead I do a few lists under headings such as “Want to do/have to do”, “Don’t want to do/have to do”, “Want to do/don’t have to do” and my favourite “Don’t want to do/don’t have to do”. The latter is a bit longer than other years – the first has the longest list, which is good –  it is always better if what you have to do is also what you want to do. What is on my list is for the whole year and I don’t intend to do all at once. But it helps me realize what I have not been doing and what I have been doing too much of. And the focus is on CHANGE.

And no, I’m not going to list the whole she-bang. Just a few highlights.

I have not been able time-wise to do as much reading as I like and enjoy – so that is on the want/have to do list. So is something that has been eating away at my psyche and my health for a few years.

Those of you who follow this blog have probably read my occasional posts where I complain about water getting into my basement sometimes with heavy rainfalls and why it happens. In 2018 a friend offered to pay to get the waterproofing done and so I interviewed five prospective contractors who specialize in waterproofing the basement. But there are two black walnut trees near the house and on my neighbour’s property – trees neither of us planted – the pesky squirrels did it. As digging is required for outside waterproofing and I was concerned about tree roots, I decided I better get in an arborist to look at the tree situation. I kept my next door neighbour up to date on everything.

The arborist came and said the trees had to come down. He was going to charge a  ridiculous fee, plus there is a permit to get, etc. etc. – so  more fees BEFORE the waterproofing could be done. No way did I want my friend paying for trees to come down – she had offered to pay for the waterproofing and I was grateful for that. Anyway, for other reasons, both my next door neighbour and I do not want the trees to come down (shade, etc.) – they have been trimmed in the past by another arborist (who didn’t return my calls to do an assessment).

These trees weren’t big enough to be in the way when the original contractor, one Nigel Applewaite, did the job and did it wrong. He didn’t dig down to the weeping tiles like you are supposed to. I distinctly remember him telling me then that he was digging down four feet (weeping tiles are 5 to 6 feet down at least). Of course, then I didn’t know any better.

The first two years no water got in and then it did – obviously from below where he stopped digging. After he told me to get the drains checked (I did – city workers said they were clear), he ran the hose against the wall in one area to see if any water got in (not from that spot)  and that was it. Never heard from him again.

So I’ve been letting people know not to hire him because of what he didn’t do – including my insurance agent’s manager when her basement flooded for the same reason. “Don’t hire Nigel Applewaite” became my mantra for all.

Well, I’m still suffering thanks to him. So, this year I’m going after him – all legal. I have some options up my sleeve for this.

The rest of my intentions for 2019 are not nasty unless you count dropping so-called friends who betrayed me in 2018. But from that and other experiences I have learned to treasure my true friends and to try to spend more time with them. To that end I am cutting back or deleting some of the unnecessary time-wasters from 2018. Or just saying “NO” to what other people think I should do.

 

I will still be writing (more than in 2018 I hope), doing book promo for my Beyond mystery books, editing clients’ manuscripts and teaching writing workshops. All that will be  covered on my author blog here. But I probably won’t get to this week’s post until tomorrow (Jan. 4, 2019). But posting weekly to both my blogs (as I used to before forces outside me took over it seems), is one of my 2019 intentions

So, happy, prosperous, joyful, productive, peaceful, etc. 2019 to all.

Cheers.

Sharon

Only Child Writes

 

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Filed under Basement Flooding, Family and Friends, Life demands, New year's resolutions, Only child

Only Child’s 2018 resolutions for public transit riders

Toronto transit streetcar – the old kind with little room

I have posted previously on the inconsiderateness of public transit riders, particularly on Toronto’s TTC. Since then I have observed more bad uncivilized behaviour and I’m not even referring to anything violent. So instead of boring you with my New Year’s resolutions, I thought I would list some of these  public transit mis-behaviours where the perpetrators need to make resolutions to change.

But before I do, I would like to give kudos and my gratitude to the baby buggy brigade – at least 85 per cent who have really smartened up since my last post on this. Mothers and fathers with baby buggies on buses, streetcars and subways are really trying hard not to take up too much space. And I try to do my part for those who take an especially considerate approach. I, in turn, approach them and thank them.

Now, here are the situations on public transit requiring  those inconsiderate public transit users to consider trying to change this year.

1. Blocking the way in and out – on buses standing at the front, texting or swinging between poles (as I caught one young woman doing and as the drive said nothing to her, I did. From her response, she clearly was on some drug), with their bags taking up even more room. And they aren’t even getting off at the next stop and the bus isn’t even crowded. People have difficulty passing by them to get on or off. Ditto on subways when not crowded in rush hour  – people standing in the doorways and texting while there are clear signs by the doors or on the doors “do not block doorways.” My solution is to first make sure they aren’t getting off at my stop and as I go by I tell them they are blocking the doorway or way out.

2. Standing at the top of or bottom of  or actually on steps in subway stations and texting. Not only is that inconvenient for others going up and down the stairs, especially for us oldsters who have to hang onto the railing, it could prove hazardous for the person texting. In rush hour, crowds hurrying up and down stairs may not realize someone is standing in the way and texting. Could be a nasty accident. Solution: get out of the way. Do your texting on the subway platform (most subway stations now have wi fi) or on the level above the stairs.

3. Young healthy people hogging the blue seats which are meant for seniors, anyone who is disabled, and parents with kids. I will give credit to most who do move when someone with a cane gets on the bus or subway and there are a few kind souls (men and women) who offer me a seat  because I am a senior.

4. People who hog extra seats for their bags of groceries, suitcases and even their purses. Even more insulting is when they do this and just sit there texting, oblivious to those who are left standing.

5. People who are too lazy to move to the window seat – whether they put  bags or not on the seat beside them, so anyone who wants to sit down has to climb over their big feet, etc.

All who are guilty of any of the above (and other inconsiderate behaviour), take note and try to change your ways. Remember it is public transit, not private transit. If you want to take over the seats and space, use Uber or a regular cab. or hire a limo.

And transit drivers aren’t all good guys and gals, either. Without going into a long list here are some driver issues that need changing in 2018: those drivers who find it more important to make the light before it changes then pick up passengers just arrived at the stop (probably because they had to cross at that light), keep to your schedule no later or earlier than five minutes for the scheduled stop time – I’m fed up with two buses – same number and same route – one minute apart instead of the 10 to 12 minutes they are supposed to be.

And one more thing, transit drivers If a passebner is doing one of the above five – at least on a bus or streetcar- please set them straight. It should really not be up to the passengers to do your job.

And that’s it. Feel free to post this on your blog or wherever.

And any comments here are welcome, especially if you have stories to tell about bad  actions of transit riders and drivers.

Happy 2018!

Cheers.

Sharon

Only Child Writes

 

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Filed under New year's resolutions, Only child, Public Transit, Public transit riders bad

Only Child deciphers New Year’s resolutions

Only Child and Mom before the arthritis took its toll on Mom

I learned a couple of startling things when compiling my New  Year’s resolutions on Sunday. Over the last few years I’ve developed an interest in weather forecasts and in the last month of 2011, in consumer advocacy and problem solving. The other revelation, which also occurred when emailing a friend, was the bond between money and health.

Oh! Oh! Does that mean I have to add these two interests into an already full plan? I can’t see me as a meteorologist (maybe in another incarnation) but the consumer advocacy one bears considering. So does the bond between money and health because this connection has followed me for more years than I care to remember…maybe even back to my growing-up days when my late mom who was such a super budget-financial caretaker, also had health concerns – first my dad’s several bouts with cancer (plus an ulcer and a minor heart attack), then, her own arthritis after Dad died. By that time, Mom had returned to work as a typist for an insurance company, then had to switch to proof-reader when her arthritic fingers got in her job’s way. She was off for a few weeks because the arthritis had spread to a foot and an ankle. I remember coming home from my business school class and finding two of her employers (former colleagues years before I came along) and the conversation was disturbing. As I write in my memoir:

She [Mom] is on a mini-leave of absence, when one day I walk into the house and find two strange men with her in the living room. They’re both sitting on the chesterfield, one on either side of its designed split. Mom is in the pink chair by the bookcase as if the World Books standing guard behind can lift her up beyond the swollen foot propped on a footstool. The conversation stops and the two men stare at me with blank smiles on their faces.

“This is Peter McLaren* and this is John Vardis* from Surety Insurance*.” My Mom points to each. “This is my daughter, Sharon.”

“Hello,” I say as I sit down in the chair under the window.

The men say, “Hello,” and nod, and then McLaren continues the conversation.

“Julia,” he says. “I know you are a valuable employee but we need to know if you are coming back to work.”

“I don’t like to say it, but I have to,” Vardis says. “It might be better if you retired now.” He addresses the mantle.

“Let’s not be hasty, John,” McLaren says, and then looks Mom right in the eye. “Julia, do you think you will be able to come back?”

“I don’t know.” Mom’s voice is wispy and little girlish.

I just sit, grinning and gripping the arms of the chair. I don’t even have the courage to wish one of the men would shuffle around in the chesterfield so it would move at the split. That might jolt them, although into what I don’t know.

(Excerpted from You Can Go Home – Deconstructing the Demons, copyright 2011 Sharon Crawford)

*Names changed to protect the innocent and the guilty.

Perhaps the “jolt” today for me and everyone else is to consider what is most important in our life and what we can do about it this year. If I don’t want to continue the “family curse” on Mom’s side of the family, I need to consider my health. And like my Mom, money is so connected with my health. Without good health I cannot work; without money I cannot do all I need to do for my health. Anyone who thinks government health insurance will look after all health issues, think again. Anyone who signs up for private health insurance and thinks that will solve the issue, think again. Most of these private health insurance plans cover no more than 80 percent and have a payout cap. Options are a la carte, making monthly premiums high. Is it better to pay the piper in premiums or pay the piper up front for each health treatment, supplement, etc.? If you have a partner with a health plan from his or her employment (usually partially funded by the employer), you might be better off with the private health plan…for now. If you are an only person like me, especially self-employed, maybe not.

You decide.

For the money end, I’m looking into several options, once considered controversial, but becoming more common as we aging boomers near retirement and find out it’s not all Florida, Mexico, Arizona and easy-living. Depending on your age, you might want to consider applying for Canada Pension Plan payments before you turn 65 (in Canada. Starting this year, you can still work and apply and receive CPP, as well as continue to pay into the plan). You might also want to consider cashing in some of your RRSPs (if you have any), downsizing your residence, etc.

My point is, consider these issues (rather than the usual lose weight and exercise ones, although they are also worthy). We aren’t getting any younger and sometimes thinking outside the box can work.

Comments anyone?

Cheers.

Sharon Crawford

Only Child Writes

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Filed under Arthritis, Canada Pension Plan, Goals, Health, Health Insurance, Money, New year's resolutions, Only child memoir, RRSPs, Sharon Crawford

Only Child gets a grip on 2011 goals

Only Child contemplates the tyranny of new year's resolutions

Eleven days into 2011 and I’m already noodle-whipping my attempts to keep my new  year’s goals. That’s a sure sign that I’m straying from the KISS rule and sliding back into my old multi-task ways. So I picture my late mother’s simple filing system – everything in  the top drawer of her dresser – and try to keep it simple and focus on one goal at a time. Multi-tasking is a bad thing – you can kill yourself or someone else (e.g., talking on your cell phone while driving. There is a reason for those state and provincial laws no-noing that combo) or become Ms or Mr. Stupido (See http://www.evancarmichael.com/Productivity/2575/Is-Multitasking-Making-You-Stupid.html). Apparently we aren’t born multi-taskers and acquiring that habit makes us less productive with possibly a few exceptions  such as carrying on a conversation while eating a meal.

You can imagine what can happen  if you try to tackle all your New Year’s goals at once. I prefer  “goals” to “resolutions” because  the word “goals” seems more inspiring and personal than the straitjacket of resolutions (i.e., Thou shalt…). I also divide my life into categories – self, career, family and friends, and house/property. Some life-balance experts suggest three areas but with all the stuff in home-ownership, I need a separate category for it. My goal here is to pick one goal in each castegory and work on it – but focus on one goal at a time, not all four at once. Take the “self” category. I’m trying to do Yoga every day, walk at least 30 minutes daily (barring blizzards),  get more sleep at night, improve my eyesight and deal with other health issues. So, in order to make time for that I’m trying to streamline in the house/property area. However, I’m still  doing the midnight house “patrol”  looking for undone chores. Instead of going to bed at a realistic time, midnight and later finds me putting away laundry, making shopping lists, sorting mail and other papers previously thrown on the kitchen table – all while feeling foggy and lethargic.  Yeck!

I gotta get a grip. Are the laundry police really going to descend and shake a clean sock at me because it is in a basket and not in a drawer? Am I really going to go out then to a 24/7 grocery store and buy milk and lettuce? And the mail sure won’t be picked up from a mailbox at that hour of the night. At least I ‘m not checking my e-mail at all hours.

So, I’ve decided that in the area of  “Self,” right now I need to concentrate on getting more sleep. How else can I tackle the other goals? Besides getting any housework done earlier in the evening, I need to get my other weakness under control. Newsflash. I’m a news junkie and a weather junkie. I can’t go to bed without knowing about the latest murder or weather condition. But I’m nodding off in front of the TV. I could check the news and weather online before going to bed, but then I’d hit the e-mail. I think I’ll just curb my TV news/weather-watching time. Once the full weather report is given, that’s it – any news before that is enough for the evening. After all, I can check the news and weather online the next morning. Or here’s a novelty – listen to news and weathercasts on the local radio station.

It’s worth a try.

What do you think? Any tips for keeping your new year’s goals?

Cheers.

Sharon

Only Child Writes

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Filed under Decisions, Health, Multi-tasking, New year's resolutions, Only child, Time management