Category Archives: Anxiety

Only Child on dreading the day

Dreading the day or night? That can be a sign of having an anxiety disorder. High anxiety has followed me through most of my life from the early teens. It is my black dog and no matter what I do or don’t do, it hovers and often strikes. The difference may be just that some of the anxieties have changed since I turned senior.Sharon CLB mid 1990s

Well, it turns out that up to 15% and counting of seniors suffer from anxiety. Medical experts, research and the like didn’t cotton on to that for some time and instead focused more on seniors’ physical ailments, dementia and depression. See information from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America

Now they are taking note.

That 15% figure comes from the NCBI  PubMed. And they are saying that a lot of us seniors with anxiety disorders got them first earlier in life (with some exceptions such as acrophobia). Research is also finding that the anxiety is chronic. They got that one right. I have a few other ideas of my own here. For example, today many seniors, especially women, live alone, so don’t have someone to support them emotionally. Not that all duos are supportive, but often you get some opposites in there, someone who will listen and offer some suggestions, hopefully in a non-judgemental, friendly way.

And I can hear the “pie in the sky” and “when cows come home on roller skates” skeptics reverberating in the background. I know that the above supportive scenario is the ideal situation rather than the norm. And I don’t know what the solution or solutions are to decrease this menace. Certainly less big problems popping up so often in people’s lives would help. And I’m not going to even go into how confusing, complicated and over-busy our world is today. Just think too much technology, to many things to -do and of course dealing with our weather around the world. Enough said about that here.

I will be looking into some more information on anxiety in older adults with some ideas on possible help (I don’t say solutions; the only solution may be to get the hell out of Dodge, but we will all be doing that at sometime. High anxiety can  make that happen sooner as it can lead to heart attacks, strokes and cognitive disorders. It’s that last one that bothers me.)

For now I would like your comments on anxiety – and it doesn’t matter if you are a senior or not. Anxiety really doesn’t belong to any age.

Cheers.

Sharon

Only Child Writes

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Filed under Anxiety, Health, Health Seniors, Help and Support, Life demands, Living alone, Only child, Seniors, Stress, Worrying

Empire Life Insurance apologizes and Hudson’s Bay reimburses

The garden is one way I have to heal

The garden is one way I have to heal

Last Friday, I followed through with phoning Empire Life Insurance and got a reasonable person in the call centre. After explaining the situation, she said she would look into it and get back to me Monday after 12 noon when she was back into work. When I said I had a dentist’s appointment that afternoon, we sorted out that I have vm and she could leave a message.

She did a couple better than that. She waited until 6 p.m. yesterday to call to make sure I was back home. And she fixed it. She checked my computer file and said there was a flag on it since 2013 to not send the letter and to automatically up the premium at the beginning of each new fiscal year in August. She explained that the letters are generated (from the computer) automatically and  sent out automatically unless someone follows the flagged info and someone missed doing that this year. She said it was human error and she apologized for the company. She also told me the amount of the increase which starts with the August bill and confirmed that the amount on the quarterly bill I have is the right one to pay by June 1  and to ignore the amount in the letter and the letter itself.

I accepted her apology. So, no repercussions for Empire Life Insurance Company now.

The companies doing something to fix their errors continues. I have mentioned before having problems with my prescription glasses which I bought at Hudson’s Bay Optical in December 2014. Unfortunately their warranty is only for one year – which covered the replacement of one pair of sunglasses last fall because the one frame handle kept falling off and could not be screwed back in – only could be temporarily glued. They still had one more frame like it, so the lenses were switched to those frames.

Last month the same thing happened with the new frame and in I went and had it glued back on with the caveat that new prescription glasses would need to be purchased as these glasses frames were no longer available.

Mother’s Day at the restaurant the frame side fell off again. My son snapped it in. Then two weekends ago, the right lens popped out of the regular prescription glasses. When I went in to have them popped in (this is free), I ordered a new pair of prescription glasses and of course had to pay full price as the warranted expired in December 2015.

The saga continues. Last Saturday the lens again popped out of the regular glasses and in a very bad mood I took public transit to Hudson’s Bay Optical. They didn’t mind popping it in again and did so. I was wearing the sunglasses and so just put the regular glasses back in their case. They did check and said the new sunglasses had left the manufacturers on Thursday and should arrive this week, Tuesday or afterwards. They also said the manufacturer is in the United States, which would explain the long time frame (pun intended).

Does this also explain the poor quality of the glasses? Because I decided to complain to the manager about all this nonsense. By then I was out of the optical department and walking through the cosmetic department. One of the cashiers called the manager and he came down.

We discussed the glasses problem with me making comments about the poor quality of the glasses and I never had this problem with Sears and had only switched to Hudson’s Bay Optical because the Sears store downtown had closed and the mall locations of Sears are too far for me to go on public transit. I also said I had been wearing glasses for 46 years and had never had lenses pop before. I also complained of the one-year warranty Hudson’s Bay policy compared to Sears two-year warranty policy. He said he would see what he could do about that.

Then he decided I should get half the amount back of what I paid for the sunglasses and had the clerk in cosmetics do the transaction.

While we were talking he noticed that the frame on my sunglasses had again become detached. I handed him the offensive glasses and like my son had done, he snapped it back it.

The next morning at home I noticed that the lens for the regular glasses hadn’t been popped in correctly – it was the same as I managed to do to pop it in with one corner not all the way in.

I’m hoping it stays until I go in later this week to pick up the new sunglasses. And I’m not wearing the sunglasses much if at all in case the frame falls off again. I cannot pop it back in.

The glitches/snafus are getting to be too much and they have affected my health. Last Thursday, I dealt with five problems – all sorted out; Friday was calling the insurance company. Yesterday I finally had that filling put in the back bottom tooth, so hope that is now going to be okay

What all this stress, all this having to be my own consumer advocate is doing is making my IBS and the like worse and it is scaring me. I’m making some changes – more exercise as in walking and gardening (neither of which was done from Saturday to yesterday because of the cold weather). Today it is still too cold to do more than collect fresh flowers but I hope to get out for a walk. I am changing my diet slightly, but mainly starting to drink more water as I’m sure I’m dehydrated. Have also done some more research on the Internet and will see a nutritionist at the Health Planet for suggestions on supplements to help.

And do some meditation regularly and other stress reduction things. Plus get more sleep. Eliminate some stuff from my life and postpone some.

All this may be very well. But God will have to do his part, i.e. stop sending me so many problems in all areas to deal with. And send me some more money to ease the financial burden. The latter is starting to happen. But the first part has to happen or all the lifestyle changes in the world may not be enough. I don’t have the good fortune to have a partner to help with things so the burden of all falls on me. Lessening it would be very helpful.

That’s my take anyway.

Cheers.

Sharon

Only Child Writes

 

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Filed under Anxiety, Consumer action, Digestive disorder, finances, Gardening health benefits, God, Healing through gardening, Health, Help and Support, Home and Garden, Life Balance, Life demands, Life Insurance, Meditation, Older Women living alone and health, Pain, Worrying

Only Child terrified of horrible winter storm coming Wednesday and Thursday

Only child worries about upcoming winter storm

Only child worries about upcoming winter storm

I was going to start writing posts of how I am trying to make my world a little more joyful. Instead I am in emergency storm watch mode which will become big storm starting  tomorrow into Thursday. Southern Ontario is going to get hit with a big storm thanks to yet another Colorado clipper. We have the warm air and cold air clashing and that could bring freezing rain or snow. I might have known that something bad would be coming.

It might be nice if I was wrong for a change. Meteorologists can’t, at this time, actually nail down what will arrive where and when- all rain, freezing rain or snow and some mixing. We will get the latter Wednesday, but it is overnight Wednesday and into Thursday – all day and into evening – that is the big concern. I hate winter weather with a passion, and hate to say this, but I preferred the extreme cold of last winter. We had no mixed precipitation, no rain, no freezing rain and there was not a lot of snow. For this unwelcome, unwanted storm coming up, I would pick regular rain only, except this time it would be a lot of rain with the winds coming from the east and some water might get into my basement. Freezing rain is the one I really don’t want. Think power outages, ice, ice and ice on trees and hydro etc. wires and on the ground. Think the big ice storm in December 2013 in southern Ontario.

After all that ice in December 2013 and a two-day power outage where I live, I do not want to experience it again. I should not have to. Neither should anybody else anywhere.

So, I’m putting emergency plans into operation but really, it won’t stop the ice storm and any power outages, downed trees, icy roads and sidewalks, etc. resulting.. Only God can prevent the freezing rain and I am hoping he will be merciful this time and listen to me (and any others asking him). Sparing us the ice storm is something that will benefit many people.

I’m also supposed to be part of a panel of crime writers presenting at a library Thursday evening but hopefully that will be cancelled and we can re-schedule for all of us for a later date – preferably in late spring, summer or early fall.

If those reading this post think I am being a fear-monger or a wuss, just think about previous ice storms around the world. Maybe you had to go through one (or two or more). They are not to be taken lightly and in fact, should be taken completely off the weather we get – anywhere at any time.

Not bloody likely.

Cheers.

Sharon

Only Child Writes

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Filed under Anxiety, Extreme Weather, God, Ice Storm Southern Ontario, Ice storm Toronto, Life demands, Mixed Perceptation, Power Outages, Weather, Winter Weather

Only Child in weather worry mode

Coming to our locale or a variation of it

Coming to our locale or a variation of it

Ontario and Atlantic Canada, as well as the United States on the south side of the Great Lakes and St. Lawrence River are going to be hit hard with nasty weather Wednesday and Thursday this week. And meteorologists can’t figure out exactly what will come down from the sky or where what will land. The range is almost everything – from a messy mixed precipitation of snow, rain, perhaps ice pellets and some freezing rain, or a mix and then a lot of rain, or just snow. The only things certain, unfortunately, are the storm is coming and will include heavy winds.

So I’m on big storm watch and all that entails with it being anything. Have to be on basement watch in case it’s lots of rain with winds and therefore possibly water getting in the basement, outside – shovel? (although the guy I pay to shovel snow resurfaced Monday last week to shovel snow, so I may not have to do it all), salt.

To add insults to injury, our garbage collection day is Thursday, so that means putting recycling and green bins out over night Wednesday in the high winds. I may leave the green bin stuff until next week as that is collected weekly.

The other insult is I will probably have to cancel this month’s meeting of my East End Writers’ Group because not only will it be difficult for me to get to the library where it is held, group members will have that problem too – even the few who live within walking distance of the library. I’ve only had to cancel one meeting in all the 15 years I’ve been running the group. And guess why? Mixed precipitation in winter weather and guess whent? Also for the February gathering and water did get in my basement. I cancelled it and emailed all members. Back then, we were still meeting in my living room.

This time it’s a bit more complicated as the library is involved. So I’ll have to check in with them.

And this week I’m supposed to take my son and his girlfriend out for a belated birthday dinner. Martin’s birthday was Feb. 17 but he and Juni were on holiday in England then. After the next two day’s mess, two sunny days are scheduled but as the temperature is going to nose-dive it will be slippery outside. There there will be some groceries to get – no matter how much you stock up ahead of time (and I do), there is always more to get. I mean fresh vegetables and fruit don’t last forever.

All this weather nonsense makes me angry and worried. When I mentioned it to the bank teller yesterday, she said that we haven’t had it so bad this year after what we got last year. She may be eating her words come tomorrow. And I wish I was wrong here.

So, add winter and winter storms to my “why I hate the world we live in” list. And add all the extreme weather worldwide, year-round to the same list.

Cheers.

Sharon

Only Child Writes

 

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Filed under Anxiety, East End Writers' Group, Extreme Weather, Life demands, Only child, Rain, Snow, Uncertainty, Weather, Winter Weather, Worrying

Bad luck comes in fours, good luck in threes

Only child ponders luck and health

Only child ponders luck and health

Both good luck and bad luck are said to come in groups of three. I find that is true of good luck. However, in my personal experience and what I see happening “out there,” four is the word for bad luck.

Although I think it is not right, the latter makes sense. The word “four” has four letters. I know three doesn’t have three letters; but good luck seems to be so evasive, so hit and miss, so what do you expect?

On a personal level, I’ve noticed for years that whatever category of bad that is happening, it always seems to come in fours. If it is house problems, I get four at a time. (Note: by at a time, I don’t necessarily mean one right after, as in the same day, but withing a week or two).

My latest group of the bad four is in the health area. I have four major health issued to deal with – all at once apparently. Some of them have many tentacles and some people may consider each tentacle a different health issue, which would make the bad even worse.

I have been trying to juggle around all  these health problems. After the latter half of last year trying to deal with all health problems as they hit  me, I decided that was too much. So, I am trying to deal with one a month.

The health issues and medical professionals have other ideas. But I’m trying to stay my ground.

January was supposed to be get my bad eyesight tested – the annual. February is supposed to be the last dental appointment in the string of appointments for the fallout from last December’s dental emergency. March was supposed to be allergy testing.

Well, the eye exam and the optometrist just screwed that one up. But I am trying to stick to my resolutions here. I found that dealing with too many health issues at a time raises my anxiety level beyond high and sends my mind into a frenzy. Friday at the eye exam I got into a discussion with the optometrist – first he wanted to know why I didn’t come back last year for another check so he could send me to a specialist for some pressure in my left eye.

Huh? I wanted to wait until I got my new glasses and then afterwards I got busy with other important stuff and just forgot. However, if he or his receptionist had bothered to phone me and remind me – even a couple of months later, I might have made an appointment with him – as long as it was before late June when all hell broke loose with the big sinus/ear health problem.

When he asked me on Friday, then I remembered – but he had said nothing at the previous annual eye exam about sending me to a specialist. It was only maybe eye drops. Now he wanted me to go this week to the specialist.

I informed him I had a book to finish to publisher’s deadline by the end of this month. Because of the multiple health issues the last half of last year, I lost some writing time on the book. (I had given him a short litany of all the health issues. His reply? “Yikes.”) He kept pushing. So I asked him, “can’t you prescribe the eye drops.” (Yes, optometrists can prescribe medication). He had no answer.

I said I could go in March but needed to see a calendar. Had to look at his wall calendar as I had left my small calendar at home. So, there we were rhyming off dates in March when I could go. He phoned the specialist I had seen before but got a recording – closed until Monday. So, he left a voice mail message.

His secretary called yesterday morning. She had a booking for March 8 but asked me if I could come in yesterday. Well, no. I didn’t say why.

It wasn’t just rewriting the novel. One of my other big four medical issues had just returned – the sinus/gland issue. And it seems to be affecting my fourth issue – digestive system problems.

Sheesh. Somebody out there or up there doesn’t like me.

Since Friday, I had also remembered that I have to go to the dentist this month.  Book and dentist are enough for this month. Doing too much just makes me sicker, more anxious, and more cranky. And we all know that is just a “great” recipe for life (said sarcastically).

So, who knows when I’ll get to book allergy tests, let alone have the tests.

That should be my first priority because I suspect they are a big factor in the sinus, etc. issues.

But because bad fallout can happen (and has happened) from medical visits, doing the multiple thing is too scary.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again with an addition. Getting old is no fun. And more and more from not just my experience, but from what I see in my friends and elsewhere, quality of life may be more important than quantity. I have seen too many people who live to a “ripe old age” with so many health issues, what’s the point? Yes, there are exceptions and those are the ones enjoying life still – probably because they have the good quality.

And on a personal level, both my parents died at a “young” age – Dad at 66, and Mom at 63 – both had serious illnesses and were compromised in living because of them. Dad died of brain cancer and Mom of a brain aneurysm caused by a fall because of her arthritis.

Food for thought anyway. What do you think?

Cheers.

Sharon

Only Child Writes

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Filed under Anxiety, Balance, Good and Bad Luck, Health, Health Seniors, Life Balance, Life demands, Only child, Prioritizing, Stress

Only Child in scary storm watch

Winter storms now constant worry

Winter storms now constant worry

I’m doing this week’s post early (but setting it to go live the usual late Tuesday morning). Why? We’re in winter storm watch in southern, southwestern and southeastern Ontario from suppertime. Depending on where you live it could include snow mixed with ice pellets, freezing rain and then transitioning early morning to just rain for light rain Tuesday. High easterly winds coming with all this until 11 a.m. or so on Tuesday. Maybe power outages but hopefully not.

This week’s post was supposed to be my year-end tally of the good and bad that have happened in my corner of the world. That will have to wait until next week’s post. If I posted this week the bad would outnumber the good by a lot. May still outnumber the good, but maybe not so much as this week. Who knows? We live in a scary horrible world where no place is safe – and I don’t mean only the weather

One of my close friends is very sick with cancer. She was rushed to the hospital yesterday. Her son isn’t well either, so her husband is doing everything. For privacy’s sake I’m not naming them or giving any more details. Just saying they are among the friends who have helped me a lot and I am trying to help them where possible.

I am also trying to reach my son and his girlfriend. They were here Christmas Day and evening and we had a lovely visit, chatting and eating Christmas dinner. They brought the cooked ham (I’m allergic to turkey) and Martin did a few quick odd jobs around the house. Martin and Juni (who is a graphic designer) designed the background colours for my new website in the works. I’m working on content, but the three of us sat at my desktop computer (with Martin doing actual computer stuff) to sort out content layout and even content and where it should go.

Boxing Day early morning they left early for the Ottawa Valley area in eastern Ontario. Yesterday that area got hit with hours of freezing rain. I have emailed but no response so don’t know what their situation is. They are staying at the home of Juni’s aunt and uncle. I’m going to try phoning my son’s cell but who knows if there is cell reception there or what.

The three of us did talk about the impending storm for the Greater Toronto Area and beyond coming today and they thought they might wait to leave to come home until Tuesday. But more storm is coming their way then. I suggested we keep in contact by phone and email Monday and Tuesday because of this weather.

I hope they are all right.

Meantime, back on the home front, I’ve gone into emergency disaster mode – everything from batteries to non electric radios (I have an old Walkman, although it’s difficult to see what station you are on and the old ghetto blaster can be used with six C batteries – if you get them all in correctly). Have a land line with cords (can’t use the wireless landline extension during power outages) so hopefully the phone service doesn’t go. Don’t want power to go either. But have flashlights (and extra batteries), candles (but I’m leery about using them much for safety’s sake). Have done most of the emergency profile/info from the Ontario government page – to help me do what I need to do – as much of it as I can.

It is all a big worry.

Not safe anywhere in the world – England has floods in York area, southern and midwestern USA – tornadoes, twisters, rain, snow, floods.

Yuck.

Anyway, let’s hope 2016 is much better in all ways for everyone.

Cheers.

Sharon

Only Child Writes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Anxiety, Extreme Weather, Family and Friends, Floods, Hydro power outage, Ice Storm Southern Ontario, Leaky Basements, Mixed Perceptation, Only child, Uncategorized, Weather, Winter Weather

Only Child’s hearing returns – problem list still long

Martin, Juni and me on the new couch. I'm the sloucher

Martin, Juni and me on the new couch. I’m the sloucher.

My hearing is back to normal thanks to the ear drops and the doctor flushing out my ears again. I’m grateful for that. A few days after that some of the respiratory gland stuff died down – at least it looks that way. Still have the tinnitus in one ear and some sinus problems but the latter could very well be from allergies. I want to get tested for allergies in the next few months.

This big scare made me think about all the problems – health and otherwise – I’ve had to face during the summer and the fall so far. One of my friends says I have a hard life and he is right. Sometimes I think someone or something has put a curse on me.

Won’t rehash my whole life – that’s for the memoir books. But a partial list of the problems over the last six months is scary enough. Besides the ear and respiratory problems mentioned above, the following has been happening.

  • got stung by a wasp with a local allergic reaction in August
  • tripped over picture hanging wire some asshole left on the sidewalk
  • water got in the basement with the rainstorm Oct. 28
  • constant problems with eaves troughs and tree overhanging and squirrels (I’ve been yelling “roadkill” a lot lately)
  • more house and property repairs/upgrades for safe living
  • many other ongoing health problems including oste0arthritis in my neck
  • too many wind and heavy rain storms causing worries about power outages, roofs, trees, etc. (Another one due here this Thursday – garbage collection day, of course)
  • too many good dishes falling down when I’m not near them – and of course breaking
  • vacuum cleaner hose detaching from vacuum
  • Utilities and businesses screwing up my accounts
  • Dealing with the city for partial green pickup and getting the sewers cleaned

To offset some of this I have a wonderful son and some wonderful friends. Many of you know that my son Martin paid for the new chesterfield that I purchased in August. Sunday, Martin, his girlfriend Juni and my school friend Margaret came over for dinner. But not just dinner. Martin drove Juni and Margaret here and Margaret brought a ton of fresh fruit, cakes (one gluten-free) and two bottles of wine (no we didn’t finish them and Martin as DD didn’t drink any) and Martin and Juni brought some lettuce greens for me to make a salad to go with our dinner. Juni helped me transfer digital photos from my camera to my laptop. I can never get the hang of it. Martin did some other computer stuff and also some minor house fix-its, like taping that vacuum cleaner hose solidly to the vacuum and changing the battery in the smoke alarm in the basement ceiling.

So, there are good and bad. Sometimes the bad is more than the good. It should be more good than bad, but when you look outside at this world (the weather is a good example – but more on that in another post) and see all the crap going on, all the bad things, no wonder people’s personal lives are a mess. It’s like constant uphill living. No smoothies except the drinks.

Like I said before, someone or something put a curse on me – perhaps right when I was born.

Cheers.

Sharon

Only Child Writes

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Filed under Anxiety, Bug bites, Extreme Weather, Family and Friends, Health, Health Seniors, Help and Support, Home and Garden, Life Balance, Life demands, November Weather, Only child, Power Outages, Problems, Rain and wind storm