Only Child says anger not always bad

Only Child behind barbed wire

When I was a child I hid my anger under shyness and the belief that you don’t show your anger because others might retaliate and hurt you. Let’s face it I was a wimp when growing up. Perhaps it was due to my  personal background or just the mores of the times (1950s and 1960s). More likely both.

Nowadays as a senior, I am not afraid to show my anger.

Let me clarify that. It is only verbal and written. I do not condone physical violence and I don’t condone verbal and written anger  that is sexist and racist. There is never any excuse or reason for that.

But on a personal level I will tell someone off if they are blocking the subway doorway and I and others can’t get off or (and my big pet peeve), they are standing on the steps down to the subway platform and playing with their digital device. I also tell bus drivers off if they are really late arriving (although for this I am more likely to just not say “thank you” as I exit the bus). My usual exit is to thank bus drivers as I leave the bus. In the majority of cases bus drivers are just doing their job and some go out of their way to help passengers.

Not so the “clown” driving the Woodbine bus I took last evening. Not only was he late (the next bus was almost on his tail), but he sped away from the stop as soon as I used my Presto card to pay. As I struggled and lurched to get seated, I yelled, “It  might be a good idea to let us sit down first.” Fortunately I landed in a seat without injury. And why was this bus driver in such a rush? He just had to make the green light half a block away down the street. He missed it and had to wait. Thank God or somebody for Karma.

On a wider scale I am also angered by government cuts in funds to libraries, education and healthcare, something we in Ontario are now experiencing that the populist you-know-what Doug Ford and his Conservative cronies who rule the roost are doing. I am also angered by the lax sentences for murderers and other perpetrators of heinous crimes under the Criminal Code in Canada and I covered that in a recent post. And if you harm a child, harm someone who is disabled, you get my wrath too.

Anger, I find can be redirected into action with the forming of community groups and the like to make changes, for example public transit riders groups (I know; I seem to be on this public transit kick). Even just writing this post is a good redirection or writing a short story.

I am not alone in being angry some of the time. See Facebook and Twitter and news clips. t seems to be a sign of the times and the number of people being angry over specific things is increasing according to a Gallop Poll from last year which went through 142 countries. See here for the poll info which also covers worry – and that does go hand in hand with anger. The age bracket for most angry was not us seniors, but it went up to age 49.

So what about us seniors?

That’s fodder for another post.

Cheers.

Sharon

Only Child Writes

 

3 Comments

Filed under 1950s, 1960s, Anger, Life demands, Only child

3 responses to “Only Child says anger not always bad

  1. Rio

    I am not nearly as angry as often as I once was. Now when I feel really angry I usually find I need a nap. Hanging out with grandkids taught me that. But I do meet lots of people who complain about the TTC. The writers group in the west end had so many stories about the TTC I suggested we put together a book of short stories about it.

    When jammed in so tight I can hardly breath, and people come with all sorts of fragrances and flavours, wet canvas backpack is my least favourite, but there are plenty others, I say things like, “I feel really close to you all”. When the bus lurches and I land in someone’s lap, “Sorry for dropping in uninvited”. But I do get angry so I try to loosen up, breathe and I will even get off the bus or move out of the line and suffer being late rather than listen to someone vent in what is already a tense situation. Life is really hard for lots of people. When someone is angry they are in a contracted state of mind, it is not the best state to achieve anything or communicate effectively or probably deal with traffic. I don’t blame anyone for getting angry. We all get angry. I don’t think it is wimpy to avoid being hurt or avoid causing someone else to be hurt.

    If I feel something needs reporting I write down the bus number and the time and go to https://www.ttc.ca/feedback/individualEmployeeComplaint.action

  2. Good stuff, Rio. And I have put several complaints about the TTC via the complaint report setup on line, including bus drivers. I will be doing so with this driver, especially now that the times and bus operator’s no. appear on the digital info overhead inside the bus. I have also on occasionally gone to bat for others being treated like shit by other passengers, if the driver isn’t doing anything. One time a woman with a big baby carriage blocking the way to get beyond the driver at the front wouldn’t even move to let a senior with a walker get by. The senior was stuck by the driver and blocking the way. You guessed it. Ms. Mom who thinks she owns the bus space, had to get off before the senior. So, the senior with the walker had to get off so Ms. Mom could get off and then the senior had to get back on. The driver said nothing but I sure did before Ms. Mom got off. I was sitting on one of the single side seats. After I spoke the woman in front of me turned around and asked if I wasn’t afraid of repercussions. “No,” I replied. “I’m too old to care.” I didn’t add I care more about seniors and people of any ages who are disabled being hurt and treated badly. As for mothers or fathers with baby carriages, I have sometimes told the ones blocking the way to move so people can enter and exit – unless the driver does so. But if a parent goes out of their way to make sure their baby carriage is not blocking the way I thank them. It goes both ways.

  3. Rio

    I spoke to two teenage boys who ignored an old woman who would not let me give her my seat. Some one else did give her a seat, across the way. So I told them I was really ashamed to see them let another old woman (me) offer and just ignore us both. They got off two stops later and so could easily stood for a short time!
    I spoke softly. I like the “talk softly and carry a big stick” approach, in this case the only stick being that I was right. 😉 I have no idea if it made an impression on them or not.

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