Only Child on trust

Only Child and her son Martin – one of the few people she can trust

Who do you trust? Do you trust anyone? Why and why not?

Over the years I have learned that trust is worse than fleeting. I used to be this naïve person who had trust, even if it was in the form of praying for things to be all right.

Not anymore. I can count on my fingers the people I can trust. As for organizations (religious, utilities, and otherwise – hell no). It used to be I could get up in the morning and feel safe, feel that it would be a good day.

Not anymore. Always I have a hassle and/or problem hanging over from a previous day. And more are always lurking unexpectedly around the corner. This unending list includes the weather, utility problems, house repairs (impending, some done but not done properly – read Nigel Applewaite and the bad job he did four years ago on waterproofing the outside of my house – he didn’t dig deep enough and I shouldn’t have trusted him), health issues, family, computers, finances, etc. – not necessarily in order of importance.

The bottom line is I have learned from my experiences to be wary of who and what I trust. I try not to take anything for granted because you can bet once I do I get screwed somehow, somewhere.

What is the answer?

For me, it is trusting myself, doing and going it alone as much as I can, keeping in mind I can reach out to the under 10 people I can trust.

And oh yeah, dishing out repercussions to the culprits who mess up my life – but picking and choosing which ones and letting others go.

Not letting go will be one of the latest – Bell Canada’s screw-up for the static on my phone. They emailed me about doing a survey on their service about this – the technician hasn’t shown up yet. To add insult to injury the email did not contain a link to the actual survey. But it did contain the name of the customer service VP. She’s getting s*** once a technician has actually been here.

More anon, like maybe next week’s post on Bell Canada – the ding-a-ling company.

 

Tomorrow is Canada Day July 1. Enjoy it – despite yet more rain and possible thunderstorms.

And for my American followers, Happy July 4 coming up this Saturday.

 

Cheers.

Sharon A. Crawford

Only Child Writes

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Only Child on the wicked weather – then and now

I’m huddled in my bed as outside the rain and wind tangle and tango outside. The noise against my window is reaching the deafening point and I just want to crawl under the covers and disappear until it is all over.

My mother enters the room and comforts me.

“The rain won’t get in here,” she says. “We are on high ground.”

The occasion? Hurricane Hazel hitting Toronto with a vengeance in October 1954. And no water got into our bungalow and no tree or other damage was done in our area. In lower areas of Toronto, much damage was done. See the anniversary story at http://www.hurricanehazel.ca/

 

I’m huddled on the living room chesterfield, my eyes and mind glued to the TV. On The Weather Network, the meteorologist on duty and a senior meteorologist are taking us through the storm of heavy winds, heavy rain, non-stop lightning and thunder. This is for all of southern Ontario. Suddenly the Red Alert flashes and sounds on the screen. Tornado warning for the Goderich area. Goderich was hit by a devastating destructive tornado four years ago.

It is now June 2015 and my mother is long dead. It is just me. What was a very infrequent occurrence in 1954 is today the norm. Every time thunderstorms and/or heavy winds are forecast, we have to pause and to more than take note. We have to ask ourselves not if any damage will occur, but what damage will occur. And where.

The meteorologists used their digital maps and very competently explained down to the current minute what was occurring where and what was expected where and when in the next hour or two. At the bottom of the screen the Red Alert scrolled with ominous forecasts of heavy winds, heavy rainfall, flash flooding, hail, etc. including where. As the weather cells shifted around, the forecasts and locations changed somewhat – often for the worst.

I couldn’t help thinking that all this digital technology, the Canada-wide tornado alerts now issued by Environment Canada, can keep us all apprised of what is going on and what can happen. But it can’t change the weather. It can’t stop the too much extreme weather from occurring anywhere in the world. Is it better to know what is to come? Or is ignorance bliss?

Knowledge is supposed to be power. But knowledge can’t control the weather.

As the lady on the bus said the end of May.

“God controls the weather.”
And you can take that one whatever way you want to.

The floods, tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes, etc. are still coming.

For the record, a tornado did not hit Goderich – this time. But a tornado might have touched down just outside Goderich – Environment Canada is still checking that one out.
And in the Toronto area, the storm stuff died down around 2 a.m. and I finally went to bed and to sleep.

 

Today, we are not out of the woods. We have high winds and have to worry about power problems, trees and branches falling down.

Makes me wonder if the woods would be safer.

Just kidding. Although there is nothing funny about the weather in this millennium.

Cheers.

Sharon A. Crawford

Only Child Writes

Only Child on friend’s unsolicited advice

Only child contemplates living life her way

Should friends impose their advice on what you should do? Unsolicited advice. If you ask for their advice, that’s another story.

Over the weekend a friend of many years phoned me and began to tell me how to run my life and then had the nerve to criticize how I do it.

“Lois” as I’ll call her, decided she had information about a “cure” for my long time digestive disorder. She went into a long spiel about her dental hygienist who saw this medical practitioner who had her change her diet, that it wasn’t all just eating fibre, and…

But I’m coming to the sick part shortly. I didn’t just sit here and let her go on without saying something.

“It’s not diet with me. I’ve changed my diet a lot. It’s stress. I need to relax.  On the Doors Open weekend last month I went to a Buddhist Centre on Crawford Street – not sure if that name is an omen. It was so peaceful and I intend to go back. It’s just been so busy lately.”

I did ask her for the doctor’s name and if he was covered by OHIP. She gave me his name and I did write it down. (Since then I ripped up the piece of paper and threw it in the recycling bin). Yes, he is covered by OHIP, she said. But I couldn’t find him listed in the Ontario Physicians and Surgeons  registry online.

“Does he rely on drugs?” I asked.

He didn’t, but what Lois said that he did to her dental hygienist is sickening.

“She had surgery and he froze part of her intestines.”

Triple yuck! I don’t even want to imagine any side-effects or damage to the intestines.

The conversation continued with Lois saying something about how anti-depressants have helped her.

Was that a hint about how she sees me?

So, I jumped in with, “I’m not depressed (haven’t been for years) but go to the other side – anger.”

“You have a lot of anger in you,” said Lois.

“Yes, but it is all for good reasons. Sometimes I use my anger to do something about my problems.”

She didn’t say any more about that but when I got into what I want to do with my life and what I want to stop doing, she struck again.

Me: “I’ve been spending a lot of time promoting my books.”

Lois: “You won’t make any money that way.”

Me: “Well I enjoy doing that and want to refocus some of my business on doing some of that for authors. Maybe make some money that way. I’m kicking a lot of things and people out of my life.”

I’m beginning to wonder if she should be added to that list. I did wish her a happy birthday as that is coming up later this week, and mentioned that I couldn’t afford to take her out to dinner for her birthday. What I didn’t say was that I had planned to invite her here for dinner, which I would cook. No way now.

Operative word is “had.” She doesn’t deserve that. I’ve wished her a happy birthday and that’s it.

She’s on hold until at least the fall.

Late last night it occurred to me why her derogatory comment on promoting my writing. I am happy about what I do in my writing life (except maybe the straight editing manuscript part. I still like evaluating manuscripts. But that’s fodder for another post). I’m sensing she is not happy with her lot in life. Without going into details about her career, let’s just say she has been doing the same thing for at least 30 years. All lateral.

At least with my writing, I develop and change what I do, learn and improve and also help other authors.

But I don’t tell them what to do about their health and other personal problems. If they ask for suggestions, maybe.

And I have other friends who are not writers and I don’t get this “get a life” attitude. They are respectful and accepting of what I do as I try to be about what they do.

The truth is we are all individuals with individual life paths and it is up to us to decide where we want to go with our life.

So, Lois, take that in your pipe and smoke it.

Oops. Forgot, you quit smoking a few years back. And while I’m glad you did, I never told you to do so.

What do you think about friends who try to run your life? Do they have the right to do so with unsolicited advice?

 

Cheers.

 

Sharon A. Crawford

Only Child Writes

Only Child finds a little sunshine between rainstorms

Part of Only Child’s rose garden in front by the sidewalk

Southern Ontario has been blasted with rain, thunder and lightning from late Sunday evening. The thunderstorms kept me awake with the noise and the worry of possible power outages and basement floods. I even got up once and checked the basement, but no water getting in then. The weather forecast looks very gloomy this week, except for Thursday, parts of Saturday, and Sunday. We don’t need all this rain in a short time – neither do the gardens and lawns.

But we all know the weather is screwed up no matter who or what we think is the cause. And it isn’t going to get any better according to a study from Australia. This Toronto Star story by Raveena Aulakh, from June 8, 2015 “ Risk of flooding rises with global warming, says study” looks at the research on the inner workings of rain storms and some disturbing implications come to light (or dark, which may be more appropriate). The story starts with: “After analyzing data from 40,000 storms, Australian researchers found peak rainfall intensifies when temperatures are higher.”

That is especially true in urban areas. The study was conducted in Sydney, Australia at the University of New South Wales where scientists focused on 40,000 storms that occurred in Australia during three decades. Just that number of storms is terrifying. What the scientists found out is even more terrifying – these warming temperatures (and yes, they used the cop-out cause of “climate change”) are messing up the patterns of the rain within the actual storms. The two researchers – Ashish Sharma, a professor in the university civil engineering and environment school and Conrad Wasko, a PhD candidate there – also figure that this is true for around the world.
While frightened and yes, angry, about all this, I am really not surprised. From what I’ve seen, not just from The Weather Network, but up close and personal, the weather worldwide has been going beyond hell in a hand basket as we entered the 21st. century. There were a few signs in the late 1990s but the situation has escalated a lot since we hit 2000. These bad weather patterns are only the tips of the rainfall (we may not have much in the way of icebergs in the near future) – that show me, the whole world in too many ways is skyrocketing off balance.
The Toronto Star story goes on about a few really bad flooding storms from two years ago in Canada, the June 2013 one in Calgary and southern Alberta, and the July 2013 one in Toronto, Canada. The Alberta one is the most costly in Canada (so far) and the Toronto one beat the 1954 Hurricane Hazel one in amount of rainfall. I said beat a hurricane which the July 2013 one wasn’t. You can read the full article at http://www.thestar.com/news/world/2015/06/08/risk-of-flooding-rises-with-global-warming-says-study.html
No wonder I am crabby and angry a lot of the time.
But I received a most welcome blessing last evening. Besides not getting the thunderstorms predicted for the afternoon and evening (God listened for a change), the sun was shining, so I decided to go for a walk. As I headed down my driveway a man walking by was verbally admiring my garden.
“I call it my wild garden,” I said. “I’m still catching up with all the weeds.”
“Yes,” he said, “but look at all the colour from the flowers.”
He’s right. The first lot of rosebushes are blooming red and white and they are fragrant; there are pink peonies, even the chives are doing their part with purple flowers.
It made me think. My garden is beautiful. It is also one of the few good things about this climate.
So, go out in your garden and enjoy. If you don’t have a garden, go to a public garden or park with a garden; walk along the street and look at your neighbour’s gardens. Do this while you still can, while all this is still here. Before the rain comes and floods it all away.
Cheers.
Sharon A. Crawford

Only Child Writes

Only Child on when the rains came

My garden is grateful for the weekend rain

It rained finally in southern Ontario late Saturday and all day Sunday. The gardens and lawns are grateful and so am I, especially as no water got into my basement. That was the big criteria and for once I was listened to.

When I look at the ferocious floods in Texas and Oklahoma on The Weather Network or Global TV news, I am troubled. That so much damage can be done to people and their property is not good. I feel for them and anyone else in the world who has to live through extreme weather.

And that unfortunately is as my late mother-in-law used to say “the way of the world.”

It is also the way of God. But more on that later.

Last evening The Weather Network gave the forecast for this summer across Canada. Bottom line is hot and dry in the west, moderate to some hot in the centre, and warmer in parts of the Maritimes. Much depends on this El Nino the meteorologists say (three of them talked about it on this forecast segment.)  It doesn’t mean we’ll be freezing and we might get a few hot hot days but not long spans of hot and humid. Also more rain. See the video at http://www.theweathernetwork.com/news/articles/summer-weather-forecast-2015-predictions/52012/

But they can’t predict exactly. And when you look, see and hear the weather forecasts from different sources, they just can’t agree, even for the next 24 hours. The raw meteorological data is there from Environment Canada, but it’s all open to interpretation. And who knows if the original is accurate.

Saturday on the bus, three of us ladies (who had never met before) started talking about the weather. One lady said if we wanted to do anything Saturday, do it in the morning because it will rain in the afternoon. I said something about rain start time according to The Weather Network but commented that forecasters don’t agree.

“God controls the weather,” the third lady said.

“I agree,” I replied. “You hit the nail on the head.”

What I am finding surprising is lately I have run into several people who have this take on the weather. More surprising is they have no idea how I believe about this and speak first.

Not sure what this means. I do know and believe two things. The weather is not all from climate change and weather forecasts don’t always get it right.

Cheers.

 

Sharon A. Crawford

Only Child Writes